FAT FREEZING (Cryolipolysis) – Does it work? Ice Ice Baby..Chic Chic Body

Can i have my cake and eat it? And ermm loose weight, real quick? Do nothing and relax at the same time?

Yes baby – Yes you can!

First off, I need to set the record straight – I am an absolute SUCKER for any fad diet, workout, pill or potion that’ll eliminate my fat with minimal effort..I mean who isn’t? Only ever last a few days and none of them ever work butttttt i’ve got HOPE.. i’ve got FAITH.. and i’ve got some extra KILOS to give!!! so why not try em all huh!

Oh i know why…

Because they don’t work, they are bad for your general health/well being, hormones and mental state!

They’re not new, AND THEY ALL SUCK

Except this one, oh it sucks… oh boy does it suck….. it sucks that body fat right up into it’s freezing little sexy science cave applicator and melts your fat cells to a whopping minus -9 degrees … mmm melting fat…

The best part about it is..
You feel nothing!
You do nothing!

Around 1/3 of your body fat is eliminated in
just ..
one ..
hour ..
Say what? Yeah that’s right – Science baby, science….

Or shall we say Ice Ice baby, Ice that fat away…

So you’re telling me… you could literally eat cake… laying down…. and loose weight? all in an hour?

That’ll be a YES FROM ME!!!!!


Chic Body Double Bay – That’s where

Karla is not only the sweetest honey in the entire world but she’s also a Pilates Machine wonder woman – and you know, in Pilates we trust. Her Studio is right next door, but that’s a story for another day


Her Beauty Clinic is sooo.. Chic…..Chic body Fitting name huh?

here’s some piccys and a walk through..

Cut to the chase Mon, tell us the low down

I spent the sweetest hour at her clinic, the room was so comforting, she offers refreshments, towels, blankets, and just all round great company plus answers any questions you have!

Here’s some photos of me pre, during and after... And yes they’re flattering photos i know i took them…care factor zerooo, i’m busay freezing my fat GF!

just please excuse the pancake boob..

This next one is ma fav..  – you’re welcome

Afterwards i could literally feel my fat had separated from the walls of my stomach, jiggling around like a bobble head on a truck driving into the abyss…away from all it’s …extra load …in its belly?

Totally relatable right? Okay maybe not but you get the jist.

She’s got the best system in the market AND because her Double Bay shop is new she’s offering 25% off all treatment packages when you mention you know me –  Meaning it’s only $375 for an applicator session!!

 (you can do more than one at the same time and she bundles them in packages so it’s cheaper) 

No gym memberships, no shitty diets, just science and one hour! NAILED IT!

All hail our anti fat fairy god mother – Karla at Chic Beauty  Jump on her website, get the info and get that summer bod in action in just an hour!

*Results seen at 3 weeks, final results at 12 weeks so get down quick stat!*

Oh and give her a high five from me when you go!

And yes i’ll post the photos of my shredded abs in 12 weeks for you all to grate some cheese on 😉

Xoxo Mon


Barbie Doll

Fillers? Botox? Injectables?

Yes that’s right baby, we’re going there

Tabo subject? Sure.. although its about time someone wrote about it honestly.

One of the common questions i get from all walks of the park is;

“What have you had done!?”

sure it comes in a few variations…

“omg you’re so fake and plastic”


“omg you’re so beautiful if you’ve had any work done you can’t notice it looks amazing!!”

Obviously i prefer the latter, however there’s always going to be one ‘Janet who’s looking to speak to the manager’ trying to kill my sunshine. …Am i right, or am I right?

Hey am i bothered? Nah not at all, after all i feel amazing so what else matters! Your opinion? Yes im talking to you – the answer is still HELLL NO!

Note – mum i will listen to you if you’re reading this.. and no i’m not putting anything else in my face – Love youu

Okay okay enough of the blab gimme the goss…

So what Exactly have i had done?

The million dollar question I’ve never answered properly…





Actually… first… the short story goes a little something like this … as my youth has deteriorated through the ‘binge drinking‘ era of my teenage years, into the “i’m too poor to eat healthy” variation of my early 20’s coupled with ‘Saturday night fever’ morphing into the current “holy shit i’m almost 30 i can’t do this anymore…but continue to do it anyway‘ phases – one thing i’ve noticed… i do not have good genes when it comes to skin elasticity.. PERIOD. But THANK GOD I have no shame because I have tried just about everything to counter my poor lifestyle choices and bad genetics.

Nevertheless at the end of the day, no matter how expensive that tropical cream/lotion/potion is, if you’re not looking after your health from the gut (insides) it’s going to show in your skin. There’s no ifs or buts about it.

Think of it like a plant.. Yes i make up my own analogies but just go with it. When your plant starts to die you don’t just spray some hydration on the leaves and hope for the best – you need to feed the damn thing some nutrients, some plant food and water that baby so it can suck up all the goodness and flourish its assets… and by assets i mean the leaves/flowers – you get me?

I’m the plant, I’m a little weathered … so now i’m on that path trying to reverse some of my prior mistakes, so thanks to what god gave me plus some incredible potion some scientist made, who I’ve never met – my skin is looking better than ever and i’m feeling and looking great-ish! (So I think anyway)

Now back to that question… what have i had done?

Anti Wrinkle injections (tick) – what are they? Muscle relaxants… i won’t go into detail that’s what good ole Google is for.. however yes i get them & the reason why i get them is to PREVENT new wrinkles, and to prevent the ones i already have from getting worse – end result? youthful(er) looking skin! I personally use Dysport, however you can speak to the doctor about what’s good for you. But where you ask? I have deep frown lines, so i get them in between my brows, and in my forehead.  you can get them all sorts of fun places, like under your arms to stop sweating, on your gums to stop you from showing too much gum when you smile, the possibilities are somewhat endless.. just be responsible people!

See how i mentioned DR up there? That’s because you want to see one to do your injectables, your face is made from a gazillion nerves, veins, muscles etc if you have an inexperienced nurse or dr do your muscle relaxants you could end up like this for 3 months… droopy face and let me tell you NO ONE IS GONNA COMPLIMENT YOU on that!


so that’s the first ‘Plastic Fantastic’ confession i have.. The second .. Fillers

That sweet juicy sugar plump fluid that’s put into your lines, cheeks, nasal folds or anywhere that has lacked plumpness or fullness due to aging.

There are a few reasons i have had fillers, one from my unfortunate genes of certain parts of my face dropping early, and two because i just want to be more symetrical in my face – Vein i know, but this is about me feeling good thus i can do whatever i want babeh!

Fillers vary a lot from botox, botox is a muscle relaxant and they’re all much of a muchness – fillers on the other hand come in all shapes and sizes and vary in quality so the cheaper option is generally not the best option.

LIPS – yes i have had my lips corrected, many times, many variations with Juvaderm Ultra Plus (thicker & best quality / longest lasting filler on the market) Bear in mind depending on your metabolism will depend on how long it lasts. Think of filler as a sugary liquid, you put it in your body and your metabolism will chew it up eventually. That is essentially what filler is. I won’t go into too much detail about my lips because i currently have no filler in them and don’t plan on getting it anytime soon, I have big lips naturally so let’s just stick with what my mumma gave me and not go through the shame of my relatives asking me WTF did i do to my face. One thing i do suggest, is go to someone with a GREAT portfolio, because even though you can dissolve a bad job, pit’s expensive and you may as well just pay the price for an artist to perfect them,it’s the hardest part to perfect so you need an EXPERT.

What else? Well recently i’ve attended The Cosmetic Lounge questioning them with ‘what can i do to my face to make it more youthful without getting my lips done or changing the shape of my face? The answer? i’ll do another blog post on it. But just incase you can’t be bothered to read another blog of mine because i blab on for so god damn long… It starts and ends with a little ‘Tear duct and Nasal Folds rehab’

One last bit of advise…

 Sure i’ve made some mistakes in my life, but choosing a cheap unskilled injector was not one… THANK THE LORD

Always look at your injectors portfolio BEFORE LETTING THEM JAB YOUR FACE!

And yes that’s it for now, if you have any questions or would like some recommendation – Hit me up! And i’ll try my best to get back to you.


Sometimes all you need is a little bit of Olive & July


You know those days where all you need is a little bit of TLC but life decides to throw you grenades instead? Well I was having one of those days, I won’t dabble into the details however believe me when I say I needed something, and that something turned out to be a little bit of Olive & July.

But first a bit of context. So, what exactly is this ‘olive and July’ business?

This little slice of heaven is Perth’s Newest Beauty & Wellness studio run by mega babe Chloe Sherrell, a young entrepreneur and beauty queen branching out on her own after five years of being in the industry gaining a wealth of knowledge and experience from Perth’s most luxurious and Elite salons – Think massage, lash lifts, waxing, reiki, facials, Makeup – All things beauty, tucked away in an exclusive architectural home in the heart of Cottesloe.

My experience

Well… Where can one begin? At first my endeavour was to find a place that could revive my distressed lashes from the battering they’ve received over the past year or so from my love of lash extensions – After months of beautiful long fluttery lashes my natural lash resembled somewhat of a bald eagle – Not exactly my #beautygoals – something had to give, it was time to give my lids a well needed rest and rejuvenation + a little something extra to be… well… not so bald.

The Lash Lift

WTF is a lash lift? I had seen lash lifts and lash perms float around social media – They entail no extensions but long lush natural lashes….SOLD, but how? Basically its a 1hr beauty procedure where your natural lashes are curled over a rod using a solution and dye, your eyes are closed and when its done you’re left with beautifully curled lashes pain free – lasting 6-10 weeks!  – As a woman who believes strongly on referrals for any beauty treatment, naturally I posted on Instagram to find ‘Perth’s BEST lash lift’ – In about 0.001 seconds legit my DMS were full of messages informing me ‘I MUST SEE’ Chloe from Olive & July – So I did just that!


What I thought was going to be a singular beauty appointment turned out to be an incredible relaxing experience by one of the most incredible down to earth person I have met in a very long time.

After spending an hour in her studio, the photos speak for themselves – not only were my lashes revived, lifted and curled for the next 6-10 weeks – but my worries melted away with her calming music and down to earth conversation. She said I could go to sleep, listen to music, relax or have a chat, the choice was mine – naturally I chewed her ear off, but she always turned it back around to talk about me, and how I was feeling. It was so nice to be cared for genuinely!

Good vibes – Always

This beautiful architectural home & studio is nooked away in a calm street of Cottesloe, not only is it a beautiful and quiet location, there is no waiting rooms or awkward sitting areas or expensive parking – Olive & July encourage you to come however you feel – Pj’s, no makeup – no worries! + kids, pet & hubby friendly, what more could you want?

Olive and July have one vision – to create a sanctuary for all women to come and relax, be pampered and feel like an absolute Queen. The focus is on YOU – she wants every single person to leave feeling beautiful on the outside as well as on the inside, she wants all her clients to be her friends, you are her family and she nurtures you just the same– I for one can totally back that!

The verdict

If you want to go to a Beauty & Wellness Studio where you won’t be judged, are welcomed with a big hug – can bring your fur babies, real babies and large baby (hubby) with no makeup, makeup, pyjamas’ whatever your jam is? Olive and July is your new go to for all things beauty. I can assure you you’ll walk out one incredible friend up and feeling more beautiful than ever. Not only is she a wizard with your mind body and soul she’s also a very talented makeup artist. Go figure!

So, thank you Chloe, for creating such a beautiful place so out of the ordinary for all the queens of Perth. Much love xoxo

Contact Olive & July

Facebook | Instagram @oliveandjuly


How to get rid of bumpy skin… Formally known as Keratosis Pilaris

Do you have bumpy skin on your arms, back or legs? Do you find you get embarrassed when someone touches your affected area? No matter what you do it NEVER goes away? It’s not the end of the world – you’re healthy and it’s not painful but it does rein on your self-confidence … Right?

Don’t stress you’re not alone – I’ve had it for as long as I can remember, I always thought I had acute acne that never went away. However, it wasn’t until I recently went to the dermatologist for a completely different issue that I discovered it was not acne, and in-fact a genetic skin issue handed down from my parent/s.. But is it really something that can’t be fixed? The answer is even your genes say it can’t – Turns out you can beat it with diet!

So, what exactly is it?

The condition is called Keratosis Pilaris, Chicken skin, or KP and it affects around 40 percent of adults and roughly 80% of teens (see you really aren’t the only one!) — it’s a genetic issue caused by your body producing too much keratin forming dead skin cells resulting in a clogged hair follicle! Hence the lumpy bumpy skin!

Majority of the time it’s an acute condition, for others it might be more serious everyone is different, but I can guarantee everyone who has it would agree silky smooth skin is somewhat of a far-fetched dream. Well was, until now!

My personal experience 

For me personally it wasn’t too bad, it affected my self-confidence more than anything – especially in the bedroom department! I was always so embarrassed being touched on my arms or back, to the point I’d almost throw my partners arm off and be like ‘hey let’s hold hands instead?’ #awkward – I was so embarrassed of what my partner was thinking about my bumpy skin I avoided being touched like the plague. These little bumps were a mental pain rather than physical, as I grew older I came to terms with it. Even though there is no known cure, there’s plenty of at home remedies that have worked for many including me! Here’s to improving self-confidence and skin texture at last!

Let’s cut to the chase? what’s going to concur these stubborn bumps!

DIET FOR SOME – okay so the below worked for me BUTTTTT recently (since i’ve written this article, i went Gluten and Dairy free and what did i notice? NO MORE KP!! NO MORE CREAMS AND NO MORE TROPICAL ANYTHING!!! Turns out it can also be a reaction from an unknown allergy, Intollerance or just simply food! Love food too much and would rather use something tropical? Read below 😉

So, we know KP is your body producing too much keratin & clogging up follicles with dry dead skin. So, to fix it we need to rid of the dry skin (exfoliate + moisturise), and discourage keratin from producing somehow? seems easy enough.

For my wholeee life I used drying acne products on my KP because I thought if I dried out the little buggers they’d go away like pimples – DO NOT DO THIS, moisturise, nourish and care for your KP, it’ll soon pack its bags and vanish – Bye Felicia!

Coconut oil – Fixes legit everything $6

Image result for coconut oil

Coconut oil fixes everything I know; however, I didn’t realise just how much this beauty could aid in ridding my lumps and bumps! But how? well the magical nut oil contains lauric acid which helps to break up keratin, and prevent it from building up. It is also rich in both antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties to heal redness whilst moisturising your body.
Exfoliate yo-body daily, apply the nut oil either in the shower (easy boom) or after the shower if you prefer and you’ll see results within a week, continue to use and you’ll end up with skin so lush, even the Brazilians will be jealous.

Buy from any health food store / local grocer & best thing is you can get a massive tub for about $6.00AU #winning

Exfoliate + nourish | Lush | Buffy – Tough on rough skin $14



CBF exfoliating and moisturising? I know the feels – The Lush classic scrubby, moisturizing body butter slays dryness with ease. It’s packed full of exfoliating ground rice, almonds and beans in a creamy cocoa and shea butter base so you can slough away your dry bits and moisturize at the same time, revealing smooth, bright skin. How efficient! KP users toss between this and the all-round Nut oil above as their #1 favs. Slay away!

your skin will be so lush (see what I did there :P) you’ll ask people to feel your new soft smooth skin!

Nourish erry-thangMoroccanoil Hair Treatment $43Image result for moroccan hair oil

I haven’t tried this one personally, but I read a good article from another sister who raves about it, she used it when she bathed, a swig in her bath and in a few hours (after her bath), she noticed a huge difference and after a few days KP was gone – She went as far as contacting Moroccanoil asking them if they knew why it fixed the skin! They didn’t so she went to her specialists who gave her some insights why it worked for her!

“It’s rich in omega-3 fatty acids and vitamin E,” Dr. Zeichner explains. “These ingredients help dry irritated skin and support healthy skin cell function, explaining its usefulness in treating KP, since keratosis pilaris is caused by an accumulation of dead cells around the hair follicles.” – Gary Goldenberg and Joshua Zeichner, both practicing dermatologists with Mt. Sinai in New York. Dr. Goldenberg thinks that it’s possible that dimethicone—a common anti-inflammatory skin care ingredient that is found in Moroccanoil—could be helpful as well.

So, if the above don’t work for you, or you already have some Moroccanoil at home, give it a try! It’s on the expenny side $$ so I’d try the nut oil and lush soap first!

And if el’ natural isn’t your thing, I’ve got some Doc approved options for you

Keratolytic Agents

We’ll have the doctor translate this one for you: “Keratolytic agents help remove keratin—or the scales that are blocking the follicles, causing the bumps to form,” Products containing lactic acid, urea, and glycerine all perform this function and can be applied daily to prevent and treat the condition. Best yet, they’re super-gentle, so this is a great option if you have sensitive skin that is easily irritated.

Glycolic & Salicylic Acids |  Cane + Austin Face & Body Retexture Scrub $42

10%/0.5% Face & Body Retexture Scrub

Chemical exfoliants that lift dead skin cells up are your BFFs, salicylic and glycolic acids as being especially effective in working out those clogged follicles. For the thicker skin of your body, a concentration of 10 percent glycolic or more to see visible results quickly. Just bear this in mind: You need to be consistent with daily application to chase the bumps away and maintain results

Just don’t! What NOT to do

I’ve literally done every single one, so save yourself and your skin from these no-no’s!
a) Avoid soap cleansers as they can exacerbate dryness (unless the soap is a moisturising soap!)
b) For the love of god don’t scratch at the bumps or rub your skin roughly! I know all your pimple poppers get giddy over it, but don’t! it’ll make it so much worse!!
c) If you can, finish your shower on COLD, it’s not only good for your KP but good for your hair and skin, trust me – I read it on google 😛 no, but seriously, it’s good for your skin.
d) Don’t eat crap food! your body reacts to what you eat, so your body literally is your temple so treat it kind you only have one! Your skin will love you if you increase your OMEGA intake, vitamin A, C, E – Think fish, nits. beans, greens – some KP people noted just by changing their diet their KP vanished!
e) Steer clear of fragrances if you can – in some cases keratosis pilaris is caused or exacerbated by fragrance body products

I hope you enjoyed this read! Spread the love and share with some people who would benefit from it – Smooth sailing ahead!

Thanks for reading!

Ovwa ❤

Anxiety, Depression, Severe Panic Disorder & The Tools For Recovery

cropped-ryanammon-20161001-glitter-t141334.jpgMy Surgery & The Anxiety, Depression & Severe Panic Disorder That Followed

There is no one size fits all when it comes to any disorder, emotion or feeling. Absolutely everyone acts and reacts differently due to so many complexities of the mind. I can only speak about my experiences and difficulties from my own perspective.

By opening about my journey, I hope to encourage others to never give up and to always fight – Everybody deserves peace of their own mind & body

Don’t wish to read my journey? No worries! Just skip to the bottom of the article where I list all the key recovery tools that helped me on my journey to recovery ❤

The Story 

This is quite a long reading, it entails quite personal feelings and emotions of when I was in a dark place, it is honest and deep, thus the reason for writing it the way I have is to stay true and maybe relatable to some in the hopes of helping others. Thinking back if I could have read something that I related to, I could trust understand and trust that person and no longer feel alone, I hope by giving honest options for recovery from personal experience I can help even just one person reach out of their dark place and see the light.

The Accident

The long story begins here – I had a nasty motorbike accident and fractured my skull, my hearing was dramatically affected I was partially deaf and needed an Ossicular chain reconstruction. However, before I could think about repairing – I needed to wait a year for my injuries to heal – due to swelling of the brain, infection risks etc. I am talking lightly…So, I waited, grateful to be alive and kicking life was great I didn’t mind being on a waiting list because it meant I could concentrate on being 100% again. A few months after my initial consultation I got a call from RPH advising me there was an opening, due to a cancellation – I was stoked! this soon? the lady explained the appointment was for the following day – It was now or never so I agreed to start the pre-op tests the next day. I was excited to get my hearing back; the tinnitus was driving me mad! So, I rocked up to RPH and did the pre-op tests it consisted of counselling from a surgeon about the risks of the surgery, tests on my body to see if it was ready to handle the surgery.  After a long day, I got the all clear – it was a Wednesday and I remember it like it was yesterday. After I had signed my life away on the hospital documents I was slightly excited/scared/confused so I decided to call my rock –  my mum, I asked her what she thought about the risks and complications etc., being the supportive mother she is she told me she’d be there for me no matter what my decision was and always be there if anything were to happen.
The risks of the surgery included; losing muscle control to half the side of my face, becoming permanently deaf and the surgery not improving my hearing at all, confident in my surgeon I decided to take the risk

 A risk that would end up changing my world – for better or for worse I’m yet to figure out.

The Surgery

My mother got on the first flight to WA, even though I told her she didn’t have to.. she later arrived that night – forever by my side even though I live so far away from my family – Thank you mum <3.
Thursday – today was the day – I checked in for the surgery waited a few hours and I was in! Excited and brave I pretended like I wasn’t scared and it didn’t bother me, when really, I was about to faint from low blood pressure I couldn’t walk properly I was freaking out on the inside to say the least.
The tedious 6 hours under the knife apparently went well, I woke up in big spirits everything looked like it was going swimmingly, the only issue was that my ears kept oozing blood, I couldn’t walk and I was dizzy 24/7 – I stayed like this for a few days in hospital. The surgeons did some CT scans, got a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th opinion and no one could figure out why I wasn’t recovering even the slightest. Medically speaking they didn’t want to put me to sleep again unless they had to, so the choice was made to give me high doses of steroids in the hope it might fix whatever was going on inside.

The Trauma

This part is extremely difficult for me to re-live, explain, and picture so I’m going to keep it as short as I can, the steroids they were giving me were sending me wild, it was like an episode from a loony bin movie, you know the ones where they strap people down and you can hear them wailing uncontrollably – well that was me, I would go blind as soon as they injected the drugs into me, I would scream uncontrollably – cry for my mum – it was like I was in hell I would yell “put me down, just put me down” like a dog hoping to die, I’ve never wanted to die – until that happened to me, It gives me shivers up my spine even trying to explain the feeling. When the effects wore off I was so embarrassed and I would apologise to my mum and the staff and explained I couldn’t help it. I was humiliated beyond words. Beyond belief. And I couldn’t do anything about it
This happened to me over and over and each one lasted about 20 minutes, I would cry and tell my mum I don’t want the drugs anymore I just couldn’t do it – the nurses told my mum I was just scared and nervous – She knew better but they wouldn’t listen, little did they know they were putting me into steroid psychosis, medically induced psychotic episodes. Go Figure. My poor mother having to witness it and just pat my head and tell me it was going to be all okay. I’ve honestly never been so embarrassed in my life
After 3 days and nights of these horrible episodes and mum spending every waking hour in hospital by my side,  I ended up refusing all medications until I saw a specialist or doctor (of which I had requested to see 3 days prior but they were busy) The specialist advised if I stop taking steroids, they couldn’t help me get better and they can’t let me the hospital until I could walk and was better – I realistically had no choice, I agreed to a different steroid on a much lower dose. My body was now traumatised and petrified to have anything injected or swallowed – in fear of what it would do to my mind. The visions and feelings I had would torment me for the rest of my life.

The Start of My Severe Panic / Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Two weeks of bed rest was on the cards according to the ENT (ear nose & throat surgeon) after my 2-week stint in hospital, no lifting or exercise was allowed, I was given some paddle pop sticks to help with my vertigo and some eye exercises. This was all well and good if I hadn’t of just bought a house and picked up the keys the day I got home to move in. I was so lucky for my partner he moved pretty much the whole house by himself! Thanks babe.
After a few weeks I tried to go to uni, the same week I started a new job and it was my first day, I knew I had to take it easy but I was excited and wanted to do well, I got there on time and was feeling good. My new start as a city slicker, but for some strange reason I started sweating a lot and seeing stars, the doctor had said if I had anything like this to go straight to emergency – But I brushed it off, it was my first day at work I couldn’t leave, My boss took me to the board room and went over some things, It started again it was such a bizarre feeling I couldn’t see properly and I felt like I was about to pass out then the sweats came and everything was blurry – he asked if I was okay and I told him I was fine, I wasn’t I had no idea what was happening – I made it through the day and slept all afternoon. Was probably dehydrated I thought to myself
Day 2 – the exact same thing happened, but worse I couldn’t hold a pen, see straight, I was shaking and I was so hot I felt like my head was going to burst.  Honestly, I thought I was going to lose my job if I didn’t shake it – So I kept working and tried to sleep it off on a lunch break. Yet another day passed, this time it was time for me to go to uni, driving there I could hardly drive, and once I started walking in I could hardly see, and people all around me made me feel so uncomfortable. what on earth was happening to me? I put it down to doing too much too soon, but I had a mortgage I had to work, and I had a degree I needed to finish.

The Tipping Point

It got worse over the week – when I showered I would overheat and almost pass out, when I was in bed same feelings, when I woke up same feelings – This horrid feeling of the unknown was 24/7 I started to freak out. What was going on with my body? Hyperventilating I called the medical helpline and asked for help, was I to get an ambulance? was I dying? Dramatic I know but it was how I felt. I was told to go and see a GP because it was a Sunday and no specialists were working – Calling around I ended up getting one 25 minutes away, I began to drive straight away, my vision blurred I started shaking I could hardly breathe I felt like I was having a heart attack. Once I got to the clinic I could barely see, I was lucky I didn’t crash my car on the way, I got in and burst into hyperventilation/crying, I couldn’t speak or breathe and I was overheating – I have never been so scared of my own body and what might happen, the doctor just sat there told me it was okay, to not try to speak, and kindly just gave me a bag to breathe in and out of and it took a good 15 minutes to get into some sort of ‘calm’ state. He was so patient and I will be forever grateful for that – He explained I was having a panic attack and needed to see a psychiatrist ASAP due to my condition. He gave me a prescription to Valium – I was so scared I wasn’t going to make it home, but he assured me I would be okay after I took it. My trust in doctors was a bit low after what had happened but he was right, I wouldn’t say I was okay, but I was calmer – and that was a start.

I thought panic attacks, anxiety & depression were all just simple fixes of attitudes or mind frames – how I was so incredibly wrong

The Verdict – Severe Panic Disorder

I saw my psychiatrist a few days later – it was the longest three days of my lifeRoss was his name, he’s about 60-70 and an incredible man, I trusted his knowledge more than anyone else, told me how this kind of thing happens a lot in hospitals, he personally see’s someone once every few weeks about it
Hearing this made me furious – how is there is no accountability for the effects of what drugs can do to a person’s life? Why did they not evaluate me better? This is NOT OKAY! They didn’t offer me counselling after – I could have jumped off a bridge and no one would know why, all because of what happened to me whilst I was in the care of the hospital. I have never been so furious in my life! I understand things go wrong and hospital staff do the best they can, but this being a regular occurrence is NOT OKAY!!!!!

After my rage I settled down, he begun to explain that what I had was classified as severe panic disorder, he prescribed me to XANAX three times a day – everyday. He told me to stop taking the Valium and assured me I would be okay in a few months’ time and could ween off the drug eventually. I trusted him, but everybody reacts differently, for me I wish it was only 3 months, it’s been almost 12 now and I’m still recovering, but can proudly say I can function day to day without having any attacks.

The Understanding

Confused yet on what the hell I’m talking about? It’s hard to explain panic disorders as every person experiences it differently I personally never had the stock standard affects but to give you an idea – on the web it explains;

Panic disorder is different from the normal fear and anxiety reactions to stressful events. Panic disorder is a serious condition that strikes without reason or warning. Symptoms of panic disorder include sudden attacks of fear, as well as physical symptoms such as choking sensations, numbness, sweating and a racing heart/palpitations. During a panic attack, the fear response is out of proportion for the situation, which often is not threatening. Over time, a person with panic disorder develops a constant fear of having another panic attack, which can affect daily functioning and general quality of life.

Panic disorder often occurs along with other serious conditions, such as depression, alcoholism, or drug abuse.

For me my panic disorder was my body reacting to simple things in life – all general, however the difference was me not having any control over any of it whatsoever. If I was in the shower and started to have an attack – in my head I knew it is so irrational but I could never seem to control the hyperventilation and other effects it had on my body. It’s simply bizarre – it was like half my body belonged to someone else, and the other half of me was confused as to why the other half is acting the way it is.  I would know what I was doing was a simple task but for some strange reason by body thought I had a gun pointed to my head and I was about to die. That’s probably a better explanation, imagine being on the top of the tallest building on a plank and someone has a gun to your head, do you jump or try fight back? That Adrenalin and fear is what was happening to my body randomly when I was doing simple tasks, like showering, or walking in the sun.

The Depression

I used to have attacks whenever my body felt different, when I got hot, had spicy food, got nervous, so many emotions I know in my head as normal but part of my subconscious my mind was confused and scared and panicked. I used to have panic attacks from just being outside, I couldn’t walk down the street – to my letter box, I couldn’t shower, sleep with the doona on without having one.
Trying to rationalise the situation I figured it was simply because when I was injected with the steroids at the hospital I could feel my body changing – so everything that changed my body put me into a state of panic. I remember saying to myself Monique you’ve got this you can be outside it’s fine! Than BAM heart palpitations, dizziness, numbness – I thought I was having a heart attack all over again or choke from hyperventilating. Alone in the house I would cry and cry to my mum on the phone
“What if i can never be normal again mum? What is happening to me? Why is this happening to me? ”
The reality in my mind was that I had no one here to help me, my partner was away for weeks at a time, i hadn’t seen him at all – My family was across the country, I had no one and I genuinely didn’t want to be alive – and that was the scariest part about it all – thinking to myself what use was I to the world if I couldn’t function, always debilitated? My best friend gave me the one tool I’ll never underestimate HOPE – Hope that I could get better, hope that I would get better, I just needed help. But where to start? I didn’t know how? It was so foreign to my being I didn’t have to tools, or understanding to get better. How do you fix something that you have no idea about? I tried to learn, I slowly researched – some days were better than others but I felt worthless – I don’t know a lot about depression but I assume one would say I was in a state of depression, one disorder to another – I had been warned it was easy to flick between them, Panic disorder to depression, depression to an eating disorder, an eating disorder combines with depression and panics to drug and alcohol abuse, it had to end but how?

The Realisation 

I remember sitting on my floor wishing to god that I would wake up and it would all be a bad dream, but it wasn’t and the only person that could fix it was me. I was alone and I had to pick myself up and not let it define me as a person. Gather all the strength I had left in me – I was determined to get better. I decided to fly home to QLD to be with my family for rehabilitation, unfortunately it wasn’t on the cards as I was restricted to fly due to the nature of the surgery and my condition. This was the first set back – I was on my own and that’s just the way it was. Fortunately, I had my mum and dad for support and they helped me as much as they could, my partner and my best friend there to encourage me too. Jacqui had experienced similar disorders and she was my one hope that kept me going – if she could live the way she did for years and get better – so could I. My dad had experience with support due to his father being hospitalised before, he gave me some crucial tools to keep me improving without drugs – and my mum supported me by embedding into my mind just how strong I was. With my partner by my side as much as he could, working FIFO he tried his best – It must have been so hard for him to hear just how much I was struggling not be able to physically hold me and tell me it was going to be okay. But it was going to be okay, I just didn’t know it at the time.

The Recovery & Drugs

The key to any disorder in my opinion is baby steps, little tiny ones every day – and medication when required. I had so many people give me their two cents about taking Xanax everyday
– “it’s so bad for me” – “I’ll get addicted” – “I’ll become reliant” -” I’ll become a zombie”
Yes, I could do any number of those things, but I had a choice not to be like that and I didn’t. Who are they to tell me what is good for my body? They had no idea what I was going through they were not a specialist. I can happily say that Xanax in combination with mindful exercises saved my life, the drugs allowed me to function and gain hope and trust in my own body again which improved my confidence more than you could ever imagine. The mindful activities helped me open my mind to other means of recovery. I was a new woman after a few weeks –  I could have a shower without fear, I could walk to the shops in less fear, I could be at work and not be debilitated. What an improvement with just a few tools to help me do it! I was on my medications for about 7 months in conjunction with my mindful exercises – they really helped me ween off drugs and get better naturally because I still had a tool to help me be calm and relaxed, like what the drug could do. One thing to note with panic attacks, I found I could only control them when I was able to fully rationalize the situation and adjust the emotions and physical symptoms, I believe it’s the unknown that you fear the most, if you can rationalize the situation it reduces the intensity and longevity of attacks incredibly as it gives you some control in your mind and body.

Another thing to note is that I am not encouraging anyone to go and take Xanax or Valium or other prescribed drugs, however if you have been counselled by a professional who has issued them to you and you believe it is going to help you on the road to recovery than there is nothing wrong with taking drugs to help you get better. If you’re not abusing them, you shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed or be made to feel bad by other people, you are the only person who can decide what is and isn’t good for your body. If possible, try not to rely solely on drugs to get better, try your best in other methods as well – most the time focus on mindful exercises so when you are off the drugs you can cope.
Be proud of your baby steps – It took me about 3 months to be able to be in public, another few months to be in crowded spaces, and another few months to be out and about in bars and things, I couldn’t drink as that would set my panics off, my at least I could leave the house, and be somewhat okay. I was so grateful to the world as the simple tasks that I took for granted were now do-able again and it was unimaginable only just a few months back. I was so proud and so I should be, everyone takes their own time to heal, some people it may take years, some months/days. Track your progress and be proud of the small things you accomplish!

The Tools for Recovery

How is my recovery going? Well it’s been almost a year and I’m still not 100% myself, but I no longer have attacks, i’m not afraid anymore and i can do just about everything but drink alcohol – I’m not sure you’re ever the same person after something traumatic, however if you’re the best version of you that you can expel that’s all that matters – you’ve grown.

No disorder should define you as a person, No you don’t have to live with it for the rest of your life JUST NO – You control your own mind, you control your life, you can re-learn and re-teach your brain, it just takes a lot of effort but it is up to you to want it, it is your choice – Make you the priority in your life to live the life you want to live!

There is always hope and a light at the end of the road. Please if you are in a struggle try as much as you can to get help, use the tools below as a guide, not everything works for everyone, but you never know unless you try 

My Personal List

I didn’t get these tools on my own, I didn’t get these tools from any kind of specialist either –  I want to thank David Beveridge, Jacqui Hunt, Diane Beveridge and Jordan Begg for helping me find these tools, without them I wouldn’t be where I am now so thanking you from the bottom of my heart ❤

Remember – You are the only person who can change the way you think, act and behave – If you can control your thoughts you can control almost any action/reaction! Get to know your mind and body and i promise you, you can overcome anything standing in your way! You just need to have hope and never give up!

  1. DIET! Oh my food food food…Who would have thought the little and big things we put in our mouth would have such a big impact on our mental health! Well Turns out the better you eat, the more nutrient packed foods you consume the better your mood will be.. well duh.. No seriously, anything processed will give you mood swings, high highs and low lows, try a vegetarian diet if you can and clear your body out of all the nasty toxins we eat from all the delicous foods and you’ll be pleasantly surprised on just how much your mood will enhance!
  2. Never ever give up HOPE, This is one thing that kept me going, hope is so powerful, envision the perfect you, think act behave as the perfect you, the only thing stopping you from being the perfect you, is the thought that you aren’t already.
  3. Meditation of all forms! Find one that works for you that you enjoy. There are so many types you will be supprised! some you don’t even have to do anything – just listen! You will find you are more connected to your body and able to control your feelings and emotions a lot better, and when you can control your thoughts you can control your anxiety Click here
  4. Colouring in mindful colour books, it helps distract your brain from feeling overwhelmed when you have something to concentrate on it will help lessen your attacks.  Click here
  5. Listening to guided meditation at night to fall asleep this was my FAVOURITE and go to tool. I am a rookie when it comes to meditation so for me listening to something was the best. I listened to Michael to go to sleep. I searched sleep meditation and found these the best tool I could ever recommend. My favs
  6. Using guided meditation apps. These helped me learn how to meditate, well try to I was bad as I find it hard to sit still. Practice makes perfect! Click here
  7. Sitting outside for 10 minutes per day – just appreciating the small things in life, I usually started my day sitting outside in a quiet spot writing in my gratitude journal and it helped me start the day right.
  8. Having a gratitude journal/diary, writing in it every morning and every night the things you are grateful for – You do this to eliminate the negativity of the brain – It re-trains your brain to go to gratitude not negativity when in a bad situation. As panics are usually the minds most dramatic response it helps with changing that thought to a positive one – thanks Jacqui Click here
  9. Listening to podcasts – like Brene Brown, she is incredible and speaks about her research into being vulnerable and how to allow yourself to be worthy Click here
  10. Listening to Psycho Cybernetics, education is the key to recovery I cannot stress this enough, become an expert so you can control your mind properly to reduce and eliminate the attacks – I don’t like reading so I listened to the book instead. Below is the book version.  Click Here
  11. Reading Psycho Cybernetics Click Here
  12. Talking daily about how I was feeling to let my emotions out, if you don’t like talking you could write them in a diary or on a paper than burn the paper as a sign of relieving it from your body.
  13. The most relieving tool of all – Talk to someone who has been through something similar, the relief knowing you aren’t the only person in the world is unimaginable, they might just be the one tool that holds you through,  becoming one person you can truly rely on.
  14. Seeing a professional and talking to them about getting specific tools for you to help you recover. Find a good one and TRUST them! If you don’t have trust their tools wont work. remember this is all your mind playing tricks on you, time to reteach that brain with new tools!
  15. Doing 1 thing per day to make you feel good, Baby steps to recovery – have a shower, brush your hair it doesn’t matter how big or small it is if it makes you feel good and worthy.
  16. Setting a weekly goal, something small – accomplishing things slow and steady wins the race – like being out in public for 10 mins it can be anything!
  17. Sleep, good food and nutritional supplements the ones I used are below
  18. Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid (GABA) basically is a non-essential amino acid found mainly in the human brain and eyes. It is considered an inhibitory neurotransmitter, which means it regulates brain and nerve cell activity by inhibiting the number of neurons firing in the brain. GABA is referred to as the “brain’s natural calming agent”   Click here
  19. Happy hormones – Life saver for ladies, join their Facebook private group or as me and can add you, the naturopath will answer any of your questions, it reset me hormones, no more mood swings yay! Click here
  20. Chamomile tea – 10000 times a day I found this as my go to calmer pick something that you associate with being calm, and use it when you feel overwhelmed Click here
  21. Clearing your schedule and making you the priority of getting better – you are the most important being in your world, make you the priority to get better. You are worthy!
  22. Exercise (if possible) at the stage I was unable. However exercise is one of the best anti anxiety tools, gets your endorphins flowing. Try for at least 30 mins everyday. Even if it’s just a walk. Vitamin D, fresh air, almost as good as ice cream and a warm blanket!

Welcome to my world

Welcome to the short story of my life!

Hey there! thanks for this visit, but what is this all about?
Well where do I begin…I have created this space to express my feelings, opinions, tips and tricks, views and reviews on everything life related!
All in the hopes that you can have a read – laugh at – relate to or just read to kill some time and maybe learn something in the meantime. So many strange things happen on the regular… good bad and the ugly – I’ve decided to document it now in the hopes that other people who have strange life/events/issues could relate, get help, or just feel understood. Maybe even get some good tips and tricks on the way

I by no means am very literate  – or possess a profession in well… any field I have a half degree of graphic design, and 3/4 of an applied science architectural degree, Just your average gal with a personal blog. So please ignore the shocking English and just enjoy my blog for what it is 🙂 I’ll figure the rest out eventually

But first… a little bit about me…

A very basic, short story of from being an infant to now – note: there is nothing to learn or gain from the below, Just an overall journey if you must to understanding me a little better.

Born on the Central Coast of New South Wales Australia with two older brothers I was destined for good things… like food…lots of it 🙂 Great coastal beaches and camping! because hey there’s no better feeling than being connected to the ocean & the earth…Bugs and all.

 My time in the Central Coast was short-lived, as my parents decided to move back to my dad’s birthplace – the Gold Coast! This is where I went to primary school – St Kevin’s, for a few years at least… in grade 5 we ended up moving north 2.5 hrs to the Sunshine Coast, guess mum wanted more sunshine less golden. From there I attended Mtn creek State Primary until year 8, then we moved…again and I did the rest of my schooling years at Chancellor State College, I graduated and moved 1.5hrs south to Brisbane to attend university at QANTM Collage where I half completed my Bachelor of graphic design… before getting distracted half way and jetting off to EUROPEEEEE for a while

So, the story goes – I spent wayyyyyy to much money in the 24 countries I visited like way way way too much mula – So I moved to WA to work in the mines and become rich… in like 3 months? …HA well that was the plan in my head anyway. I was only meant to be in WA for a few months to pay off my European drunken debts, however I ended up meeting this blonde surfer country boy, and well he swept me off my feet (well he bought me and my GF a trip to Perth for a festival with accom) and like any other romantic sooky girl with big eyes and a big heart I couldn’t say no he was amazing, but that’s another story for another time – SO connecting back to my beach roots I decided to stay in a town of the Margret River Region – Dunsborough

(but there’s a bit of rivalry between Marg’s and Duns so if you’re speaking to a local don’t ask them if Dunsborough is Margret River they’ll look at you as if you’re a peasant #localsOnly )

I spent about a year living there working 2 weeks away, one week home, then after 6 months I ended up on a roster consisting of 4 weeks away with one day off and then 1 week home DEATH BY WORK. I did that for about 6 more months, quit did some more travelling started an Architecture degree at Curtin University going back up north on a 2:1 roster for a few years on and off between my uni holidays. I started a lingerie label in 2014, it got snapped up by the Telstra Perth Fashion Festival in 3 months of me operating STOKED! but I’ll have a separate post on that one!

LIFE TIP: Working away is incredible money, but it sucks (if you have a shitty job like I did) – to be honest when I was 19 and on a 6-figure salary I was miserable! It made me realise money does not equal happiness at all, it’s epic having money to blow like Charlie sheen on a night in a Vegas strip show, but if you don’t enjoy your job all those miserable hours you spend away making it really takes a toll, but…again… that’s another story for another time – well another read- it’s on my blog!

I ended up buying a house in Perth, working fifo maybe 5 months a year and doing my uni for the rest, designing garments in-between!

(i’m skipping a little heart break and i’ll move onto my Sydney life)

Long story short I got a epic job with a billionaire, travelled the world, quit after almost 2 years than went straight on the Bachelor and got booted off for calling the guy a dog ‘see you next tuesday’…..

again another story for another post..

hope I didn’t suck the life out of you, but this is me in a nut shell! I’ll have details posts for interesting topics in the menu!

Thanks for reading ❤


Working In The Mines

Debt free one dunny at a time

how can I get in? What do you do? what’s it like? You must make a killing? 

These are the questions I get asked religiously, my answers are my opinions only, some people love it, some people hate it, some people get lucky – for some it’s a career, for others it’s a means to an end – Only you can decide for yourself what it is to you 🙂

My Story // The interview

Remembering what you lied about on your resume and hoping they don’t ask you about it

19 was when I first applied to work away, I was SO excited to get an interview to what would be the worst job + company I have ever worked for. I remember going to my interview looking professional in my pencil skirt and white blouse, makeup minimal and fresh, feeling good… well that was when I woke up at least… I borrowed my friend’s car to get to the city, it was a 2hr drive and I didn’t check the fuel… guess what? It broke down on the highway … yeap… so like any keen person to work away I phoned to let them know I was running a tad late but had called a taxi – only to be told doors close at 8am and if I wasn’t there not to bother. So, I pushed the car onto a grass patch where it said no parking –  knowing full well It would be towed or fined.. and I ran. No, I sprinted about 4kms barefoot holding my heels and my bra to stop it hurdling with the momentum. And yes everyone in peak hour traffic had a good laugh.

I didn’t care because I MADE IT – I got to the office with about a minute to spare looking like I’d just fought Bear Grills for the last serpent to eat on a deserted island, or at least I thought I did. The lady laughed “oh you made it good” – “ha-ha” I replied – puffed and sweaty, but stoked on life… there was about 30 people there – tats, blue hair, visible piercings I was slightly shocked, looking back it wouldn’t surprise me if they hired just about everyone in the interview.

I sat the one-on-one interview after the group session and got a call back the next day – I had got my dream job or what I thought as a 19yr old, the money was about to start pouring in so in my head debt free here I come! ha! The job was classified as “utility” aka “shit kicker” which means you don’t know what you’re doing until you get there.

Flying to site and physically working

it’s like your first day of school, except your flying there … and it takes 5 hours… and it’s not as fun as you imagined…

Once I had done a full medical, police clearance, and uniform pick up I was ready to go! work flew me inland to some random airport, I caught another 2-hour bus which led me to my new site – A Gold mine called Sunrise Dam, I was to be a cleaner on a 2:1 roster working 12 hour days no days off (2 weeks away 1 week home). I’d never been good at cleaning but I was eager for those $$$ I cleaned about 30 ‘dongas’ a day – the accommodation they give you it’s like a big shipping container with a bed and a shower if you’re lucky. You clean the showers/shower blocks, laundries, beds, floors – you get the idea. I pushed my trolley and off I went, I enjoyed it for a little while, everyone at Sunrise was lovely it was a small site so I had a good time.

I didn’t get paid much I was slightly devo but I didn’t hate it yet so I thought I’d stay and work my way up every shit kicking role until I got something better… the role paid me about 65k+super a year, i probably should have just finished my degree instead.

The “Promotion”

longer hours, more money, harder more stressful work, is it worth it?

6 months later I got “promoted” to construction work 4:1 (4 weeks away one week home – YUK) but I did it anyway because that one was for 127k + Super a year – Hello $$ goodbye debt!  It would have been an incredible opportunity if I could have saved, but like every silly youngster in the world – I spent every dollar of it, zero savings on a 6-figure salary what a fool! I had never been good at saving either but I was 19 and I had a good time on my weeks off so hey who cares! One thing I forgot to mention, work pays for your flight to and fro work, they pay for your food – it’s all buffet – and the accommodation so the only money you spend is on alcohol (cheap too!) and lollies + chocolate etc..

Construction sites/work is another kettle of fish, its blow in contractors, miserable workers, horrible horrible people with horrible attitudes, I missed Sunrise, I missed my small crew, my 30 rooms and my happy vibes. I cleaned double the amount I was used to, which was fine I got super fit! but everyone hated me because I was so happy – well tried to be. I tried to ‘shit sunshine’ on everyone and everything to bring some happy vibes to the place but they sucked the life out of me, every single one of them. I lasted 6 months of 4:1 and was so sick of scrubbing foul dunnies with horrible team mates with poo on the outside of the toilets LIKE HOW!!?! I couldn’t deal with it anymore, construction work SUCKED all the contractors were so gross and it was just not me anymore! PLUS wolf whistling in the dinning area is so 2000’s

The Redundancies

If fifo is your career you’ll be made redundant more times than you can count on your fingers, and that’s just the way of life! It’s kind of a good thing? PAYOUT$$$$$

We got made redundant and I was beyond happy to give up my rubber gloves and salary to go back to uni and get a real job, no more skiddies to scrub, no more stained crusted bed sheets to strip and make over and over all day ignorance is bliss 😐 time for something a bit more… normal?

But…the money?

every fifo’er will tell you the struggle IS REAL when it comes back to reality with money. Also, the work/home dilemma – “I’ll never go back” – spends a fortune & goes back 6 months later #standard

I quit and went back about 4 times between uni and holidays for some extra coin, hated every minute of it but I needed money to live. I figured 6 month increments was justifiable – “I’ll go back this one last time?” – every time for 4 years…. I did all sorts of roles: site cleaner, mine cleaner, town cleaner, kitchen hand, Bin collector (my fav job not even kidding) and finally admin THANK GOD – get me in the office and away from the dunnies!!!

For me the FIFO game was over in 2016, my love hate relationship with the job was coming to an end. I was to finish my last year of uni and go live in another country, or state whichever came first. I started back at uni, was doing great! So, what does one do when one is doing well? I took myself on a cheeky holiday to Bali!!!!! Tropical Paradise! but then my holiday was extended in the worst way possible… something horrible happened

The accident

I crashed my mate’s road bike 😦 badly. I was carried to hospital, unconscious and woke up the next day not being able to speak or hear properly – I had fractured my skull and had bad internal bleeding, but that’s another story… 5 weeks’ recovery in Bali, then 12 months in Perth, I couldn’t go to uni or work anywhere physical, so I ended up getting the best job I ever had! WOO insert everything happens for a reason meme – It was working in mining again…but in head office! for a local fire company, they gave me a day a week and that was it. 12 months’ recovery, I slowly took on more days, loved working every day for them! however money may not make you happy but it makes the world go around… I was offered a job but up north I couldn’t say no to.

Back to it

The offer was FIFO 8:6 roster (week on week off) in the office for a small company, super nice team, lots of money – I felt bad but I left my head office crew and went back to the work I used to advise no one ever to go into unless they were desperate or had debt, and here I am – Now working fifo again and I couldn’t be happier. The difference working for a smaller company is amazing. and working only a week than having a week off is also a winner.

the verdict

I’ve had horrid and amazing experiences in the FIFO industry. it really is so different for every person, and I can vouch to say you’ll love it or hate it depending on what you’re doing and where you are! if you have no experience or tickets like I didn’t just apply for utility work they’re always hiring and weasel your way through like I did, once you’re in you’re in! If you have a HR licence or working at heights you could get on the trucks or rigs a lot easier. or a traineeship! or not at all.

Just take a note from my book, don’t work for ESS Compass Group..

informally known as – ‘ESS – Eat shit or starve’ 

Thanks for reading ❤